Past, present and love

My best friend, whom I refer to as my “sister”, asked me to read a book before I came to visit her this week.  She said it was a book, by an author, that a lot of her co-workers were infatuated with.  The book is The Gifts of Imperfection:  Let Go of Who You Think You are Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by:  Brené Brown.  I actually had a different book by the same author on my wish list, so I figured I would read this one too.  Come to find out, this book is the first in her series and the one I had saved was considered her third book, so good thing I started here!

I’m only about a quarter of the way through the book.  It is relatively short, at only 160 pages.  I would deem it a “self help”book.  It has been right in line with several other books that I have read in the past.  One little excerpt particularly spoke to me this morning so I thought I would highlight it in today’s blog.


We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and know, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness, and affection.

Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.

Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows.  Love can only survive these injures if they are acknowledges, healed, and rare.”

This spoke volumes to me this morning.  I have a relationship with a person that has faced a lot of shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal and the withholding of affection; along with a even longer list of hurtful and harmful life experiences.  This person and I have a very important relationship, but because of these unfortunate experiences, we share a difficult relationship at times.

I’m not claiming to be perfect myself.  I have things that I would defiantly like to work on.  My level of self love is not where I would like it to be yet .  The scale seems to tip more towards, trying to fit in, then trying to just be me.  Although, I have come a long way in the past years, I still have work to do.  I hope that the work I plan to continue to put into myself will help me in all my relationships, great and small.  And, even though I am being counterproductive by saying this, I can only hope that the person I speak of will be able to clean up the pieces of their shattered past and form them into a beautiful, and love surrounded, future.  Because, in the end, we all deserve that.


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