I promise!

So last weekend I looked up where there was a CoDA meeting in my area.  There was one every Saturday, surprisingly close to where I live.  I pledged that I was going to start going and even put a reminder in my phone.  This Saturday came and went and I didn’t go. *sigh*  I am getting married next weekend and then going out of town.  But I am promising myself that I will start attending meetings on Saturdays starting in February.

I can totally see how I depend on my partner to feel happy, especially on the weekends.   I really need to be able to feel happy with myself first. I know this, but sometimes its just so hard and scary. My very best friend moved about a year ago to a different state and another friend I had for a couple years got really flaky. So I feel super alone and when I turn to my partner, sometimes he can’t deal with it. So I need to step up and learn how to deal with it. First step is going to group meetings!

I can and will be happy with myself.  I can and will be happy with other people.  But it is a process and if I don’t take the initiative to do it, well no one else will.  So I am openly promising myself here, that starting in February, I will go to meetings and I will do things that make me happy, even if I am by myself.


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